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Monday, November 9, 2009

Perfect Catch - Someone please gut it and throw it back in the ocean.


Last night I decided to stay up late and watch the reality show Perfect Catch. "The Hottest show on TV (*wink)". BIG load of ..... Sure, the contestants were hot and good looking by definition, but none of them attractive. So let me describe some of the contestants.
Girl #1: She was blond, foreign and so full of herself you wouldn’t believe. She said if she had to rate herself, “10 is not enough it has to be higher, 20? No. Maybe among the 50’s or 60’s”(*wink). That’s how hot or sexy she thought she was.
Girl #2: This one was kinda scary. And when commented on, someone said she was “fierce” which suited her perfectly. She’s the kinda girl who would claw another girls one out if she were in ANTM (fyi, she IS a model, most of them are). Although, she has more ink on her than she does meat.
Girl #3: She was a typical blond American girl from Los Vegas AND she worked for PlayBoy. The perfect resume for this particular reality show I might add. Oh ya, and big boobs (duh.)
Girl #4: I was genuinely scared of this girl. She had boobs bigger than her head. Srsly. I’m surprised she could keep upright. And of course she said they were 100% natural which doesn’t really matter either way because her boobs had more filling than the inside of her head.
Those were just the girls. Wait till the boys!
Boy #1: He was a French dude, short hair, muscles, nothing special about him. The only thing I remembered is that he’s French (big deal).
Boy #2: This guy was a dancer, big smile, big personality. Although, he was so gay-ish I had NO idea which if he was or not, considering the objective of the show (he proved me wrong later). His t-shirt’s were equally as gay – all colourful, tight and well.... striking.
Boy #3 : He was Australian I think. The best looking in the whole group so you would think he’d do well in the game right? The said that he valued attractiveness over intelligence because there was less stress for him, and that he could just go around in a daze and still get somewhere. Which is exactly what he did.
Boy #4: This English dude was slightly normal. SLIGHTLY. He was like a jock turn model, his vanity through the roof!
So those were the players. A variety of good looks and absolutely ZERO intelligence. I almost puked arrogance watching them. So why did I watch you ask? For one thing I like to poke fun at their stupidity, I wanted to know what the show was about and I just HAD to see the end to see what the judges had to say and it was worth it. Therefore, I have saved you the mind numbing torture of having to find out for yourselves what it’s about. Your welcome.... X]
So, I’m sure some may be confused so I’ll explain what the show is about.
(i probably should have mention all this in the beginning but where’s the fun in that?)
Each week, they visit a different place. And each week, every contestant is on a mission to find the “Perfect Catch”. So the person who finds and then presents the “Hottest Catch” wins that week and gets to ride on a yacht all the way to the finale in Athens where they will compete for cash (or something along those lines).
Could they have thought of a more materialistic and degrading show? (I know, in due time something worse will come but for now....) I mean, not only is it an insult to see those egg-heads judge who’s HOT and whose NOT. But then later there are so called “qualified” judges who will decide which of the chosen hotties is the hottest... =.=” Oh yea! And who better to host the show than the one and only....drum role please!..... Carmen Electra!!!!
Anyway, I’m sure you’d like to know how the fair contestants did in their quest. Earlier in the show there was a challenge which the girls won so they got to scout one the most popular beach there while the boys were stuck with a smaller, more “family” type beach.
Girl #1 and #2 paired up and went looking for guys based on their eyes... and other highly important criteria’s like hair, tan color and height. Girl #1 had a whole list of aspects she wanted in her guy but in the end found no one. (There is a 90 minute time limit). Girl #2 found some shaggy guy at the lat minute. Girl #3 and #4 paired up and they said they that they were a perfect team for their boobs. Srsly. They even high-boobed. Yes. They high-fived with their boobs or maybe it was more like a chest bump like how the guys do it. Anyway, they found a pair of friends that were good-looking and stupid just like they were.
I’m not sure which boy paired up with who but it doesn’t really matter. There was no chest bumping or bumping of any kind so nothing missed. They were all desperate and running out of time because seemingly there were no worthy specimens for them and those that were sexy wouldn’t give them the time of day. Boy #1 got lucky and found a blond woman who was willing. Boy #2 got so desperate that he tried to convince a couple (yes, a male and female couple) to join for him and his partner. He said that he didn’t care if it was male or female as long as it was the “perfect catch”, right? (See. He proved me wrong, because here I thought that they were naturally supposed to look for someone of the opposite sex) In the end, he tried to convince a waiter girl from a restaurant but she didn’t turn up the next day. Boy #4 had the same problem, near the end he found this really sweet girl that looked quite interested but in the end didn’t turn up as well. And then there was boy #4, you’d think with all his good looks that he’d have no problem finding someone right? HA! You know how he said he could just walk around in a daze? That’s what he did and he got nowhere. I don’t even think there was a shot of him talking to a girl. Maybe he’s shy and expected to attract the ladies like flies the way he usually does. FAIL.
So in the end only 4 of the eight had someone and presented their catch to the judges the next day. While eliminating the ineligible catches, of course the judges presented their faults before kicking them off the boat. You could see the faces of the catches change after hearing what was “wrong” with them, it was actually quite sad to watch. In the end, the Vegas Blondie won that week with her catch named Elvis, the perfect couple I know.
So what was so great about watching till the end? It’s what she had to say about her winning catch and the praises she gave him about being so hot.

"I know he's pretty and all but I can't see a love connection here.... I can't stand to listen to him talk. If he ask's me another question i'm going to f****ing throw him off the boat. (insert giggle)"
(or something like that)


HA! That was good. It absolutely proves what a great show is for defining worthiness by looks and first impressions. And if I’m right, she has to ride with him for a whole 8 weeks till the finale... Let’s all join in a moment of laughter at their stupidity...




find out more at http://uk.eonline.com/on/uk/shows/perfect_catch/index.jsp

And http://www.eonline.com/on/it/shows/perfect_catch/castbios/

78 comments:

Lachlan said...

Hehe, this does make me laugh...in a good way.

As you'll soon deduce, I'm Guy 4 (or 3? There are some minor inconsistencies in you article) from the show.

Despite knowing that there would, inevitably, be a host of criticism for the show, I love to read the misunderstandings that TV can produce.

I don't usually engage much of this criticism, but - as a fellow blogger - I felt inspired to bring insight to an article that would otherwise fall into obscurity.

First of all: understand that I'm not angry that you've condemned my show, I love criticism and a chance to respond.

To clear up a few misconceptions...I'm the Australian. My name is Lachlan. Not the one that valued attractiveness over intelligence, rather, in your words, "the SLIGHTLY normal one" :)

Although vanity is undoubtedly my forte, I would attest that multiple degrees in Law and International Politics from two of the Leading Universities in the world would be enough to free me from the shackles of stupidity.

Understandably, reality television is a strange medium through which to portray this. It is however, a great way to celebrate your graduation :)

The show may not be everyone's cup of tea, but the skill lies in the ability to see beyond the screen and into the motivations of real people; the most compelling feature of the reality television phenomenon.

Well, no doubt I have overstayed my welcome, so I should really get back to doing whatever it is that shallow, unintelligent people of my calibre do when we're not sailing around the Greek islands :)

Take care and Good luck with the blog, you have some great stuff on here.

Check out my ridiculously self-obsessed blog about my own life. You might even find a chuckle amongst it's smut.

http://lachlanm.blogspot.com

Lachlan

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